Get your first book for just $5.

Join today!

We’ll make this quick.

First, enter your email. Then choose your move.

By pressing "Pick a book now" or "Pick a book later", you agree to Book of the Month’s Terms of use and Privacy policy.

Get your first book for just $5.

Join today!
undefined

You did it!

Your account is now up to date.

get the appget the app

Our app is where it’s at.

Unlock our Reading Challenge, earn prizes, and get notified of new books on our app.

Our app is where it’s at.

Unlock our Reading Challenge, earn prizes, and get notified of new books on our app.

Download on the App Store
Get it on Google Play

Already have the app? Explore here.

Dearest by Jacquie Walters

Horror

Dearest

Debut

We love supporting debut authors. Congrats, Jacquie Walters, on your first book!

by Jacquie Walters

Excellent choice

Just enter your email to add this book to your box.

By pressing "Add to box", you agree to Book of the Month’s Terms of use and Privacy policy.

Volume 0
Volume 0

A free gift for you.

Yes, she’s embroidered. Add her to your first box.

No thanks, just checkout

Quick take

Voices on the baby monitor, animated toys, creepy crawlers—motherhood’s hard, but has never been quite this horrifying.

Good to know

  • Illustrated icon, Fast_Read

    Fast read

  • Illustrated icon, Unreliable_Narrator

    Unreliable narrator

  • Illustrated icon, Creepy

    Creepy

  • Illustrated icon, Mama_Drama

    Mama drama

Synopsis

Flora is a new mom enamored of her baby girl, Iris, even if she arrived a few weeks early. With her husband still deployed, Flora navigates the newborn stage alone. But as the sleepless nights pass in the loneliness of their half-empty home, the edges of her reality begin to blur.

Just as Flora becomes convinced she is losing her mind, a surprising guest shows up: Flora’s own mother, to whom she hasn’t spoken in years. Can they mend their fraught relationship? Or is there more Flora’s mother isn’t telling her about the events that led to their estrangement?

As stranger and scarier events unfold, Flora begins to suspect the house is not as empty as she once thought. She must determine: is her hold on reality slipping dangerously away? Or is she, in fact, the only thing standing between a terrifying visitor and her baby?

Content warning

This book contains scenes that depict suicide and the death of a child.

Free sample

Get an early look from the first pages of Dearest.

Dearest

Prologue

When Flora wakes, her mouth is so dry that the inside of her cheeks are stuck to her teeth. She carefully opens her jaw—POP!—and the hinge releases with a jolt of pain to her left ear. Her legs and torso are heavy, weighed down.

blankets

these are blankets

Flora is in bed.

She lies still, eyes darting for answers on the ceiling, and wills her brain to catch up to the present moment. When she tries to sit, her left shoulder screams a pulsing protest. She rolls onto her right side and pushes herself up with her palms. The room spins, and she closes her eyes to avoid hurling, though it might be inevitable given the hangover-like headache that pounds at her temples and tugs at her raw throat.

How did she get in this bed? She tries to remember. Needs to remember.

It’s there—the memory—surrounding Flora like a mist, escaping the fingers of her brain as they attempt to grasp it. A word traveling rapidly along synapses until it pops onto the tongue like a gumball landing in the cup of a machine.

water

so much water

She was in the bathroom. She had desperately needed a bath. Desperately needed to get clean. She was so dirty and so, so tired.

Crying. There was crying. She remembers pulling baby Iris into the bath with her.

Iris where is Iris

Create a free account!

Sign up to see book details, our quick takes, and more.

By pressing "Sign up", you agree to Book of the Month’s Terms of use and Privacy policy.

Why I love it

“Maybe that is the burden of motherhood: to give all that you can and know that it will never be enough.”

Bringing life into the world and then trying to protect it from all the dangers lurking around us is scary business. In her debut novel, Dearest, Jacquie Walters renders early motherhood a horror as riveting and harrowing as any creature feature or zombie apocalypse.

Flora is a new mother solo parenting while her husband is deployed. The day to day grind has left her lonely, guilt ridden, and maddeningly bored. She hungers for company and some guidance as to how to navigate these motherhood travails. But her ordinary, though quite painful, desires begin to quickly morph into something stranger, scarier—visitations from a childhood imaginary friend, indecipherable dreams, and voices coming out of Iris’s baby monitor. Soon Flora is in a full-blown panic that her child may be in danger, so she seeks help from her own estranged mother. Unfortunately, this does not stave off the horrors and demons from the past that begin to mingle with those of the present, leaving Flora in doubt of her own sanity…

Don’t let the strollers or suburban homes fool you—this is a truly haunting novel. Dearest burrows deep into a parent’s greatest fears and animates them to thrilling effect. I had literal goosebumps. If you are looking for a unique spooky season read unafraid to get a little weird, pick this one up!

Member ratings (6,991)

Debut authors
This Time Next Year
All We Were Promised
Shark Heart
Lessons in Chemistry
As Long as the Lemon Trees Grow
How to End a Love Story
Ink Blood Sister Scribe
The Stone Witch of Florence
A Flicker in the Dark
Honey
A Thousand Times Before
Ariadne
The Wishing Game
The Collected Regrets of Clover
The Days I Loved You Most
The Road of Bones
Thistlefoot
Dinner for Vampires
The Wives
Adelaide
Here After
Spitting Gold
The Ministry of Time
Did I Ever Tell You?
Middletide
The Teller of Small Fortunes
Northwoods
This Spells Love
A Short Walk Through a Wide World
The Storm We Made
Dirty Diana
Neighbors and Other Stories
The Husbands
More
You, Again
The Love Hypothesis
Red, White & Royal Blue
The Other Valley
Hard by a Great Forest
Maame
The Circus Train
The Mayor of Maxwell Street
The Other Black Girl
Weyward
The Push
Age of Vice
The Lost Apothecary
Did You Hear About Kitty Karr?
One Day in December
Paper Names
We Are the Brennans
Black Cake
The Last Russian Doll
Olga Dies Dreaming
She Started It
Bringing Down the Duke
Somebody's Daughter
The Hacienda
Beautiful Country
Dearest
Lunar Love
Kaikeyi
River Sing Me Home
Love & Other Disasters
The Fortunes of Jaded Women
Sign Here
The Stranger Upstairs
Damnation Spring
The Maid
The Verifiers
A Little Hope
In Every Mirror She's Black
Taste Makers
Fiona and Jane
Yinka, Where Is Your Huzband?
Camp Zero
The Last Story of Mina Lee
The Final Revival of Opal & Nev
My Body
Honey Girl
Vladimir
Big Friendship
Black Buck
White Ivy
Three Women
White Horse
Someday, Maybe
Peach Blossom Spring
Behold the Dreamers
The Mothers
The Animators
Marlena
Sharp Objects
The Girl Who Smiled Beads
Small Country
An Absolutely Remarkable Thing
Golden Child
Small Fry
Too Much Is Not Enough
All That You Leave Behind
Doing Justice
Again, But Better
Free Food for Millionaires
Leaving the Witness
On The Clock
All of Us with Wings
Color Me In
Frankly in Love
The Stars and the Blackness Between Them
The Water Dancer
Full Disclosure
When the Stars Lead to You
My Friend Anna
Trick Mirror
The Girl with the Louding Voice
The Love Affairs of Nathaniel P
A Burning
The Boy in the Red Dress
Fleishman Is in Trouble
The Beauty in Breaking
The Comeback
The Prophets
Girl A
Arsenic and Adobo
What Comes After
Things We Lost to the Water
The Family
The Keeper of Night
Win Me Something
Four Weekends and a Funeral
Debut authors
View all
This Time Next Year
All We Were Promised
Shark Heart
Lessons in Chemistry
As Long as the Lemon Trees Grow
How to End a Love Story
Ink Blood Sister Scribe
The Stone Witch of Florence
A Flicker in the Dark
Honey
A Thousand Times Before
Ariadne
The Wishing Game
The Collected Regrets of Clover
The Days I Loved You Most
The Road of Bones
Thistlefoot
Dinner for Vampires
The Wives
Adelaide
Here After
Spitting Gold
The Ministry of Time
Did I Ever Tell You?
Middletide
The Teller of Small Fortunes
Northwoods
This Spells Love
A Short Walk Through a Wide World
The Storm We Made
Dirty Diana
Neighbors and Other Stories
The Husbands
More
You, Again
The Love Hypothesis
Red, White & Royal Blue
The Other Valley
Hard by a Great Forest
Maame
The Circus Train
The Mayor of Maxwell Street
The Other Black Girl
Weyward
The Push
Age of Vice
The Lost Apothecary
Did You Hear About Kitty Karr?
One Day in December
Paper Names
We Are the Brennans
Black Cake
The Last Russian Doll
Olga Dies Dreaming
She Started It
Bringing Down the Duke
Somebody's Daughter
The Hacienda
Beautiful Country
Dearest
Lunar Love
Kaikeyi
River Sing Me Home
Love & Other Disasters
The Fortunes of Jaded Women
Sign Here
The Stranger Upstairs
Damnation Spring
The Maid
The Verifiers
A Little Hope
In Every Mirror She's Black
Taste Makers
Fiona and Jane
Yinka, Where Is Your Huzband?
Camp Zero
The Last Story of Mina Lee
The Final Revival of Opal & Nev
My Body
Honey Girl
Vladimir
Big Friendship
Black Buck
White Ivy
Three Women
White Horse
Someday, Maybe
Peach Blossom Spring
Behold the Dreamers
The Mothers
The Animators
Marlena
Sharp Objects
The Girl Who Smiled Beads
Small Country
An Absolutely Remarkable Thing
Golden Child
Small Fry
Too Much Is Not Enough
All That You Leave Behind
Doing Justice
Again, But Better
Free Food for Millionaires
Leaving the Witness
On The Clock
All of Us with Wings
Color Me In
Frankly in Love
The Stars and the Blackness Between Them
The Water Dancer
Full Disclosure
When the Stars Lead to You
My Friend Anna
Trick Mirror
The Girl with the Louding Voice
The Love Affairs of Nathaniel P
A Burning
The Boy in the Red Dress
Fleishman Is in Trouble
The Beauty in Breaking
The Comeback
The Prophets
Girl A
Arsenic and Adobo
What Comes After
Things We Lost to the Water
The Family
The Keeper of Night
Win Me Something
Four Weekends and a Funeral